Things are happening!!!

I've been away for a while.  Not on some fabulous vacation, just crazy busy & no time to be on my computer.  (mainly because I've been going to bed early so I can leave for the gym at either 5:00 or 5:30...so my blog suffers, but its good for weight loss & gym routine)

I am going to give a quick summary...I just wrote a big post and as I was ready to "publish"...I lost it.  Grrrrr.

After my xray, I had my first fill with my new doctor on Feb 18th.  I thought he had taken everything out of my band, but I was wrong.  I had 3cc in my band, and he added 2cc...so I'm now up to 5.0cc in my 10cc band.  I can feel a little bit of a difference, but not much.  I'm able to eat almost anything and as much as I want.  I am controlling myself, but sweets are still my weakness.

I'm down to 232.5, which means I'm now 32.8 from my highest weight!  I'm hoping to see the 220's by next week!  I'm very excited...I can't remember the last time I've been there.  It's been a while!

My sister, brother-in-law, niece & nephew flew to NYC from South Dakota last weekend!  The kids didn't know they were coming, so they were very surprised!!!  We had a great weekend and packed as much in as we could!  I'll attach some some pictures of the weekend.

NOT Flipped...just severely tilted!

I finally got a call from my doctor.  They said the port is not completely flipped.  It's severely tilted down (towards my feet).  They said I'm always suppose to tell whoever does my fill, to look at the x-ray first so they know the position and tilt of my port.  I'm going to be very positive about this.  It means NO further surgery!!!  She said fills should not be an issue now that they know where it is and how it's tilted.  I'm really hoping she is right.  I can't take be stuck over and over and over again with a needle and get no result.

I'm scheduled for a fill next Friday.  What's another week in the grand scheme of things, right?!?!

On another positive note, while I've been still getting up early in the morning and hitting the gym hard, I haven't noticed changes on myself.  That wasn't the positive thing!!!!  But other peole have been noticing changes and making lots of very nice compliments to me!  I don't take compliments well, but I'm trying.  It feels really nice to know that even though there is NOTHING in my band right now, I'm still in the gym, my eating is not great, but it's ok, and people are noticing changes!

P.S.....I'm so excited that B.O.O.B.S decided to do anothe trip!  I will definitely be in Chicago!  It is 2 days after my 33rd Birthday!  So Happy Birthday to me....I'm going to Chicago!  I can't wait to meet you all!

8 FAILED attempts at a fill

I finally took the band aid off and found 8 needle holes in my stomach!  On the table, I lost count as I was trying to remain conscious and trying to remember to breathe.  I'm not having much luck finding out about flipped ports.  Must not happen too often.  I feel that surgery might be best....if it flipped once and they can move it back in the office, who says it's not going to continue to flip?  So I feel if they go back in surgically, they would be able to stitch it in there better?

I'm such a wreck.  My eating has been HORRIBLE this weekend.  I was all mentally prepared to be on liquids and was totally fine with knowing I was going to be getting a fill and FINALLY moving on with this process with my band.  And then boom....no fill, everything taken out...and another big setback.  GGGGRRRRR.....I just want to scream....and eat.

Thanks for all your cyber hugs and support!  I appreciate it.

New Doctor....and Flipped Port?!?!?!?!

I was so excited to go to the doctor today and meet my new doctor and hopefully get a nice big fill.  The nurse saw me first and was shocked that they only put 1.0cc in my band for my first fill.  The nurse said they typically put 3-4cc's in at the first fill.  It would have taken me about 6 months to get to 4cc.  My old doctor said they put 1.0cc in at the first fill and .5cc at each additional fill until I hit my sweet spot.  I am so happy to be with a more aggressive doctor.  I was so happy at this point in my appointment.

Now the doctor comes in.  He was also shocked that they only put 1.0cc in my band.  So now was the NOT FUN part of my day.  (If you recall my first fill, it took them 3 needles to find my port.  They said it was tilted and I was left with a HUGE black and blue mark on my stomach.  See post dated 12/26/10 to see the picture)  I was a little nervous to see if they could find my port, but was trying to be positive and optimistic.  I can't tell you how many times he stuck me and how long he poked & prodded.  I was almost in tears on the table and also on the verge of passing out again.  I kept catching myself not breathing and being totally tense.  But it hurt like a bitch.  After quite a bit of time and not being able to get it, he says he's not going to continue to try.  He said he thinks my port flipped and I need an abdominal x-ray to see where it is.  I wanted to die right then and there.  He said if it is flipped, they could possibly try to flip it in the office (while the area is numb) or I may have to have surgery to fix it.  I was trying VERY hard to hold in the tears.  I have not had much luck with this surgery.  I'm getting very down and out and don't know how much more I can handle.

I lost it walking out the of the clinic and cried on the phone to my mom,  the whole taxi ride back to work, and for like an hour once I got back to work (I just hid in the bathroom and didn't let the kids see me...luckily there are 2 nanny's!)  I am an absolute wreck.  I'm so nervous to tell my boss.  I feel like they're going to flip out when they find out I may need more surgery.  I'm working late tonight and praying they come home after MANY alcoholic beverages to put them in a good mood!

Has anyone else had a flipped port like this?  I can't recall reading about any, but if you have, please let me know how it turned out for you.  I'm looking forward to my x-ray on either Monday or Tuesday to see what the hell is going on in my stomach...well, actually, what is going on next to my belly button.

It's going to be a big challenge for me now not to go hog wild with my food choices.  I was so excited to get this fill and be on the liquids all weekend.  Now I have NOTHING in my band and I'm completely sad and defeated and just want to eat.  This is going to be a long weekend.......

Hope everyone else has a great weekend!

Picture update

The first pictures are 10 days pre-op and the second pictures are from 2 months post-op.  I said in an earlier post, you can see a little difference if you look REEEEALLLLY close!  I didn't think I was going to notice any changes, so I was pleasantly surprised!  We need to keep going in this direction!

New Doctor!!!!

NYU received all my paperwork and I am all set to see my new doctor!  He is in-network, so everything is covered 100%.  I have to first see their nutritionist and their nurse before I can see the doctor, but that is fine by me!  I will see the nutritionist this Tuesday, Feb 1 and then I will see the nurse and doctor on Friday, Feb 4.  I am so excited that I was able to get in so quickly.  I'm hoping they're a little more aggressive with fills than my old doctor.  I only have 1.0cc in my 10.0cc band.  I know some people start with 2.5cc or more in their band.  I want to get a move on this banding process.  I hope they'll give me a "big" fill.  We shall see!

I'm even more excited that I saw some movement in the scale this morning.  I was hovering at 242-244 for the last couple weeks.  This morning I saw 238.7  HALLELUJAH!  I've been working really hard on my food choices and food portions.  It probably helped a little bit that I've been sick in bed all day Friday & Saturday.  But I'm still going to take this weight loss and be happy about it!

I had some port pain the last week.  It felt a little bit like after my surgery.  When I had to cough, I would have to hold/press my stomach so it wouldn't hurt.  Not sure what that was all about?  It has since gone away on it own. Is this normal?  I haven't had any port pain since right after surgery.  And now 2 months later it all of a sudden came back...for a week....then went away again???  Anyone else experience port pain like this? 

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Thank You! & The Ten (Lapband) Commandments

I just wanted to say a quick THANK YOU to all the NY gals that helped me to find a new doctor.  It seems everyone goes to the same practice!  I did research some other doctors, but you guys made it pretty easy.  I'm just waiting for all the paperwork to be transferred over so that I'm able to make an appointment. 

In the meantime, I've had a renewed vigor.  In all my reading and research, I came across "Lapband Ten Commandments" (from Gaspar Rosario @ http://www.accessweightlosscare.com/ )  Number one hit home for me.  I thought the hardest part of this commitment was giving up my beloved Diet Coke (This Friday it will be FOUR MONTHS with NO DIET COKE!!!).  I have been pleasantly surprised by the fact that I don't miss it.  Well, I miss it, but I can live without it.  But I have found myself going back to chocolate, candy, cookies & ice cream.  When I saw that was his NUMBER ONE commandment, I realized that if I want to be successful with my band, I need to conquer Number One!!  I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, and not self-medicate with sweets.

I've been hitting the gym 4 days a week, getting up early to work out, and I've been feeling good.  But the fact that I'm sabotaging myself by eating all these sweets was driving me crazy.  So when I read the below list, something clicked.  I've been doing really well since then.  It's only been about 4 or 5 days, but that is huge for me.  I need to keep this momentum going.  I did take some 2 month pictures this weekend.  You can see some difference...if you look REEEEAAAAALLLLLY close ;-)   Not too much, but enough to make me know that I'm headed in the right direction.  (I'm having a hard time posting them right now...I will try another night)

Hope these commandments help some of you as well!!!

LAP BAND COMMANDMENTS THY SHALL:

1.  NOT HAVE ICE CREAM OR CHOCOLATE 2.  CHEW WELL AND EAT SLOW 3.  REMAIN ON A LIQUID DIET FOR 2 DAYS, FOLLOWED BY PUREED DIET FOR 2 DAYS AFTER EACH ADJUSTMENT 4.  MAINTAIN A LIQUID DIET FOR 1 TO 2 DAYS, IF YOU VOMIT FOR ANY REASON 5.  MAKE AN APPOINTMENT IF YOU CAN EASILY EAT : o    DOUGHY BREAD, o    STEAK o    WHITE MEAT CHICKEN o    MORE THAN A CUP OF FOOD 6.  ANOTHER APPOINTMENT IF YOU ARE STILL HUNGRY 7.  NOT PANIC, BEING HUNGRY IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. MAKE GOOD FOOD CHOICES UNTIL YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT 8.  MAKE AN APPOINTMENT EVERY 4 WEEKS FOR THE FIRST YEAR AND GET YOUR ANNUAL ESOPHAGRAM AND LAB WORK 9.  SEE YOUR DOCTOR ON YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT IF YOU FOLLOWED THE ABOVE COMMANDMENTS AND YOU ARE NOT LOOSING 1-2 LBS / WEEK. 10.           ENJOY SUCCESSFUL WEIGHTLOSS, RESOLVING COMORBIDITIES, AND A HEALTHIER LIFE, IF YOU FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS

Doctor Frustration...can ANYONE recommend a good DR in NYC???

I think I've mentioned before that I live in New York City, but my doctor's main office is in Long Island.  He is suppose to come to the city once a month to do surgeries and fills for his "city" patients.  So I am bound to his schedule no matter what.  The office hours in Long Island are Monday-Friday 9-5....so they say.  But really, they do surgeries Monday & Tuesday and the doctors are out both of those days.  Wednesday they're only there half days.  So really, to get a fill, their office hours are Wednesday from 2-5 and then 9-5 on Thursday and Friday.  This is not very easy to do anything with them.  I went to this doctor because a friend of mine works there.

So I had my first fill on Dec 22. and I've been (not too patiently) waiting for my next fill on Jan 26.  I've been telling people it's next week, how excited I am, hoping I will FINALLY get some restriction and get out of Bandster Hell.  NOPE.  The office called today and said he won't be able to make it to the city next Wednesday.  But he'll be back on Feb 16.  I CAN NOT WAIT THAT LONG.  I HAVE to find a doctor in NYC.

The girl just keeps saying, "but you can come to Long Island."  No, I can't just come to LI.  First of all, most people in the city don't have cars.  So I can't just jump in my car and run to your clinic. (which is AT LEAST an hour away...if there is no traffic).  Secondly, I do have a job.  I can't just up and leave a 2, 4, & 6 year old to fend for themselves.  She just doesn't seem to understand why I can't make it to LI.

For my first fill, I was scheduled at 2pm, thinking I'd be the first patient of the day (since that's what time they start after surgery) and be in and out of there.  I arranged my day around that 2pm appointment.  The morning of my fill they called and said he would still be in surgery and can I come later.  So I am 0 for 2 right now.  I'm not waiting for the 3rd strike to fall and be stressed out about this every month.

I'm out.  I've had enough.  So I am sitting here researching new doctors and practices.  If anyone lives in NYC or knows anyone in NYC that has a good Bariatric doctor, please send along their name and/or details.  I'm hoping this process doesn't take too long, but in the long run it will be for the best.

Thanks in advance for any help you could provide.

Erica

Pictures from Christmas!

A little late, but I figure better now than never.  I'm looking forward to showing these next year in comparison pictures when I've lost weight!  Have to get my POSITIVE THINKING going!

Me with my niece, McKenzie.

Me with my nephew Jackson

My younger sister, Bryna, Jackson, McKenzie & I

My mom is the one in the blue shirt, and my older sister, Kara, in the red shirt

My dad on the left and my brother-in-law,  Jason, on the right



I don't love these pictures of me, but it is what it is.  Now it's up to me in 2011 to change what these photos will look like next year on New Years Eve!  Looking forward to the journey!

Does this get better?

I know the answer is YES...it does get better and easier.  I think I'm still maybe in "bandster hell", because even though I've had one fill, and have had the experience of getting stuck, I have NO restriction at all.  I can eat as much as I want and basically any food that I want.  I just can't take huge bites and I'm good.  I need more help than that.  A lot more help!

My friend asked me what I was doing last night.  I said I was eating something I wasn't suppose to be eating...pizza.  I felt so bad and ashamed.  He puts so much faith and trust in me and thinking I'm being perfect with my eating.  I definitely have NOT been perfect with my food.  In the beginning I was doing very well with my food choices, getting protein first, no carbs, etc.  I have slowly introduced ice cream and candy back into my life.  Not that they were totally gone, but I was doing better with my sweets.  I know many people have said this before on their blogs, that if we could do it on our own, with willpower alone, none of us would have had or needed the surgery.

I feel like I'm letting everyone down.  That I can't even lose weight, cut down portions, cut out sweets, etc. after I've had the surgery.  Most people do not understand the band process, the fills, etc.  They just think I'm suppose to be losing weight and losing it rapidly.  I know I can't give in and have to remember help is coming....my 2nd fill is coming up (Jan 26).  This month has been really hard.

I've been to the gym 4 days/wk for the past 2 weeks.  I feel good about that.  But then I come home at night and blow it with my food choices.  I can't wait for the feeling of restriction.  Please, please give me some restriction!!!  I don't want to keep having these 'failure' feelings.  I know it will happen for me...but this Bandster Hell is, well...H.E.L.L.

Morning workout...check!

I am very happy with myself.  I set the alarm and actually got out of bed, rather than hitting snooze a million times.  I went to the gym, worked out, was happy all day that it was behind me and I could enjoy my evening.  It's my friend's birthday tomorrow so we had dinner tonight together. 

That's all for now!  Just wanted to let you all know that I did it!

I did it...I went the GYM!!!

When I had my first filled (dec 22), my doctor cleared me to workout, no more restrictions.  I knew I wouldn't do anything over Christmas break, but told myself right when I get back I had to hit the gym.  No  more excuses.  I then realized I would be joining every other person with a New Years Resolution to go to the gym and lose weight.  I went and it did feel good, but the gym was soooo busy.  There were literally no lockers available in the women's locker room and no cardio machines available.  It was like the taxi line at the airport.  People standing around staring at nothing, waiting for a machine.  I wanted to leave.  I REALLY wanted to leave.  But I said no, stay, and then you can go home and blog that you worked out 2 days in a row!  Gotta start somewhere, right?!?!?

Just so I don't get discouraged by huge crowds at the gym, I'm heading to bed now, plan on getting up and leaving by 5:30am to be at the gym when it opens at 6am.  That will give me enough time for a good cardio, shower, and then my work is literally steps from the gym.  I'm not really a morning person, but again, if I blog about it, I don't want to let myself down and have to admit to everyone that I hit snooze instead of hit the gym.  So I'm hoping you all hold me accountable!  I'm hoping to start out with 4 days in the gym.  I don't want to go crazy and get bored like I usually do. 

I got stuck on Sunday night.  When will I learn?  I had made meatloaf for my friend.  I had a normal portion and was satisfied.  He then left.  I then went back to the fridge and thought "just a little bite or two more."  I immediately knew I was shoveling it way too fast into my mouth.  I didn't want to get "caught" by my roommates.  Like they would care.  I was eating too fast, not chewing well enough...and then it happened.  I was so mad, disgusted, and disappointed with myself.  I feel like I keep telling myself "the band isn't working, I only have 1cc in my 10cc band.  It can't possibly be working"  And while I'm eating normal portion sizes, not band portion sizes, I do know the band is working.  Otherwise I would not get stuck and have to PB. 

I have to put my faith and trust in the band and remember that this is a slow process.  I'm just dying to feel full after a few bites.  I want that feeling of knowing my band is tight.  I think I'm getting a little impatient.  I have to slow down and remember that I am 22 pounds down.  It is happening...and will continue to happen.  I just need to give it time.

Ok, off to bed!  Tomorrow is going to come way too soon!

Bruising

Here is a picture of my stomach after my first fill.  This actually looks better than it did 3 days ago.  It was all black/purple, but seems to be getting better!

Christmas dinner went down well!  My 5 year old niece told me to "watch out for the chicken" because she didn't want me to throw up like at the airport.  Clearly she overheard me telling her mom what happened!!! 

Some people wrote back to me and said they have slight bruising.  Would this be considered slight bruising and I should expect this after fills?  Or is this not normal?

I'm down 21.5 pounds as of 12/24/10!!! 

Merry Christmas!!!!

I made it to South Dakota last night with no travel problems....a small miracle considering the last 4 years of travel have brought many issues.  Delays, cancellations, lost bags, blizzards, etc...this year I walked into LaGuardia Airport and saw the shortest lines I've ever seen.  Both flights took off on time and landed on time.  It's a Christmas Miracle!!!  And it wasn't snowing in South Dakota and the roads were good.

The only problem at the airport was MY FIRST PB!!!!  Let me back up to Wednesday of this week when I got my first fill.  If you've been following me, you'll know I haven't had the best/easiest go since surgery.  I had a long, painful recovery, a leaking incision for over 2 weeks, and one trip to the ER for breathing problems.  So I go to my doctor on Wednesday and was a little nervous, but also excited for my fill.  They lay me down on the table, start DIGGING around looking for my port.  She (physician assistant) was poking and prodding so hard, my whole body was tense and I was screaming inside.  So she "thinks" she found it, put the needle in (OUCH!) and can't find the port.  So she takes the needle out, pokes around with her fingers  some more and says my port is tilted.  She said this isn't common, but it does happen.  She now just has to figure out if it's tilted up or down.  She thinks up.  At this point I feel all the blood drain from my head and feel like I'm going to pass out.  Luckily, I'm already lying down.  She goes in with needle number 2....no luck.  All I can think of is .....of course this is happening to me, nothing has been smooth so far!  She then goes to get the doctor.  He then pokes & prods some more, sticks in needle number 3 and thank the lord, he gets it!

I have had the largest black and blue mark on my stomach since Thursday.  I will take a picture tonight and post it before it  gets better.  It was worse, but still pretty big & gross.  I'm not sure if I should expect this bruising every time?  Or if it's just because they couldn't find it & had to try 3 times?  Anybody else experience this bruising & pain?  She did say once I start losing weight it will be easier to find my port....but in the meantime, I'm not looking forward to fills.

They started me off with 1.0cc in my 10cc band.  I did the rest of that day & the next day liquids/purees like I was suppose to.  On Friday I ate the inside of a chicken fajita panini (chicken already cut small so it was perfect).  I had told a couple people, since my fill was so close to flying and I really wouldn't know what my band was capable, I was planning on not eating anything while in the airport & flying for fear of PBing.  Well, I get to my gate in Detroit and have about 20 minutes before I board.  There was a Fuddruckers right across from my gate.  I figure I would get some chicken fingers & eat the chicken part & try to not eat too much breading.  Well, it took forever to get my food...I saw the chicken fingers come directly out of the fryer and into my hands....sit down at the table and tell myself to let them cool.  But I'm also nervous because I know once they start boarding my flight, it would be quick (very small planes flying into South Dakota so therefore takes about 2 minutes to board everyone :-) )  So I take a bite...I immediately realize it was too big, but it was also sooooo hot.  I instinctively take a drink of water (how many rules have I broken so far...anyone keeping track?!?!?!) and swallow because it's so hot.  I get this tight feeling in my chest, start hiccuping and and I'm like "crap...I can't believe I'm having my first "stuck" in the airport after I was adamant about NOT eating.  My flight is starting to board.  I throw my food away, get up and start walking (more like pacing) and all out panicking on how I'm going to board this plane.  I go to the bathroom (luckily a small bathroom where there was no one by the sink), do a big cough & some of the food comes out.  I still can feel like I'm stuck.  I walk out to make sure the door hasn't closed to my flight.  Run back to the bathroom, do another big cough and the rest came out!!!!

I made the flight!  I guess my band is working!!!!!  The rules will now be followed to a "T" and I hope it's a LONG time (or never would be nice) until the next PB.

For everyone celebrating Christmas today, have a great day and a great time with your family!

Stuck in Bandster Hell

Not much to report here.  My incision has basically stopped leaking.  There is a little here and there, but nothing major.  I'm pretty much back to 100%.  I sometimes have some pain if I'm sleeping on my right side...I know it's my port, so I just deal with it.

I'm suppose to be eating pureed food until I see my doctor on December 22.  I was doing really well for the first 3 weeks.  Then life got in the way.  When I'm running all over NYC with the kids, going from one activity to the other, I barely have time to eat.  Much less find a pureed food.  I have frozen pureed food at their house, but I sometimes leave the house at 8:30am and don't get back to the house until 4:30pm.  Can't really bring frozen food in my bag....I have no where to heat it up.  So I gradually started cheating with my pureed food.  I'm still eating basically all protein like my doctor wants, it's just not pureed.  And it's going down completely fine.  I'm chewing well, taking small bites, etc.  I know there is nothing in my band though, and my old eating habits sneak up on me every once in a while. 

I now understand Bandster Hell a little bit better.  Everyone keeps asking me "how much have you  lost?"  They're expecting a HUGE number because it's been almost 4 weeks.  I try to explain that there is nothing in my band right now, that it's basically all my own willpower at this point.  Most people don't get it, no matter how many details I give them.  I'm happy with my 17 pound weight loss, but other don't seem to be.  It's very frustrating.  I feel like I could eat anything.  I'm trying to keep myself in check and not go overboard.....but I probably wouldn't need this band if I could do that successfully.  I stopped weighing myself so I wouldn't have to answer the "how much have you lost?" question.

Ten more days until I get my first fill.  I'm a little nervous....I get my fill on December 22.  I fly home on December 24.  I've heard people on the blogs say how they get tight after flying.  So between my first fill & a flight right after....Christmas dinner might be very little food or liquids only.  But I'm also excited to get the next part of my journey under way.  The pain is gone, I feel good....now I'm ready to lose some weight!!!! 

Bring on the saline!!!!!!.....and good riddance to Bandster Hell.  May I never visit you again!

1st week back at work...lots of tears & a trip to the Emergency Room for 7 hours!

I haven't written for quite a while.  I'll start by saying my friend and I had a great Thanksgiving weekend together.  We cooked so much food, but I did really well with my pureed food!  The first picture is our "before" picture with her "normal" food and my puree food.  I had turkey/gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry jelly, and green beans.  The second picture is our "after" plates!  She couldn't believe that was all I ate.  It was so delicious and I was completely satisfied.

So after the great weekend with my friend, my week started off not so great.  I had a conference call my bosses (I'm a nanny, so it was the mom & dad on the phone) on Sunday night, before my first day back on Monday.  In one breathe they're saying how much they love me, support me, I'm part of their family, etc.  In the next breathe they basically accused me of not doing my research to know I was going to be out for 2 weeks, that I couldn't be in the pool for 4-5 weeks, and that I couldn't lift more than 7 pounds for 4-5 weeks.  Now, you  must know that there is another full-time nanny that I work with at this house.  We both work M-F and split the 3 girls and split the responsibilities.  The parents told me they feel completely blindsided that I won't be able to do my job "to the full potential" for the next 4-5 weeks.  I was ready to lose it.  I have been with this family for 1 1/2 years.  I have always gone above & beyond the job desciption and they tell me it all the time.  So I asked them that for the next 4-5 weeks if I could mainly do the 2 older girls and not the 2 year old because she requires a lot of lifting (in/out of crib, in/out of cabs in NYC, on/off changing table, in/out of highchair, etc).  They gave me such a hard time and I almost lost it on the phone.  I've been SOOOOO emotional and that put me right over the edge.  They refused to give me 3 sick days....yet the last nanny who was only with them for 8 months, took 6 or 7 sick days and was paid with no questions asked.  I've been with them 1 1/2 years, NEVER called out sick, and for those 3 sick days that I asked for, they said NO.  I won't keep going because I could write a novel on this subject.  There are alot of other things I won't get into, but this just started the week off horribly.

A little back track...I started getting these very severe, piercing pains on my left side, in my left rib/lung/breast area.  It hurt to breathe, take deep breaths, etc.  I couldn't imagine there was still gas from the surgery 10 days out, but I fought the pain from Friday night to Monday.  I finally called my doctor, who told me that I need to come in immediately for a CAT scan!  So after my bosses were so rude and unsupportive....I had to leave work at 2pm on my first day back.  I was so upset.  I went to urgent care...was there 2 1/2 hrs.  They sent me to the Emergency Room where I sat for the next 7 hours.  They did blood & urine tests, a chest xray, a CAT scan, and a sonogram of my leg.  They thought they saw some blockage in my leg from the cat scan, so that's why they ordered the sonogram of my leg.  Of course it turned out to be NOTHING.  SOOOOO frustrating.  My incision was infected, so at least I was able to get an antibiotic for that.  Don't get my wrong, I'm glad it wasn't a blood clot like they thought, but now I had to take another 1/2 day off work.

But it's Friday....I made it through my first week!  I don't feel 100%, but almost there.  My incision is still leaking.  Has anyone else had this issue?  It will be 2 weeks on Sunday since it's been leaking.  I have a single incision in my belly button.  It's slowly leaking less and less, but still definitely leaking.  My emotional stability is getting a little better, but WOW.  This crying business needs to stop already!

Ok, if you're still reading this, THANK YOU!  I'll stop writing.  I need to write more often so this doesn't happen.  Thanks for listening.

Breakthrough with Pain and my New BFF...the Belly Bandit!

I woke up this morning very nervous.  I rented a Zip Car for me to drive to Long Island for my doctor's appointment.  I'm still in quite a bit a pain and didn't know how driving was going to be.  I knew I probably shouldn't be driving (btw...haven't been on pain pills for quite a few days so it's not like I was all drugged up and loopy!), but I didn't want to have to pay for car service to and from the doctor.  I didn't tell people until after i had done it, was home safe & sound, and no one was hurt!  My mother was NOT happy!  And very glad I hadn't told her until I was home.  I basically had to drive with one hand and hold one hand on my stomach to brace it from the pain.

My doctor was very happy with my progress.  I'm down 8lbs from when I saw him a little less than 2 weeks ago.  And down 15 from my highest!  I guess the numbers make the pain a little more bearable!  My incision has been leaking, but they said it wasn't infected so I was happy about that news.

I think the doctor appointment was the best thing that could have happened.  It forced me to get out of my bed and/or chair, and be on my feet for a good part of the day.  I have been doing my walking like I'm suppose to, but this really pushed me today.  When I got home I felt sooo much better.

And even though I was feeling better, I still had pain in my stomach...especially from the car ride.  But when I got home I had a package in the mail.  My sister had recommended a belly wrap of some sort a few days ago...shes a physical therapist and was trying to help me with my pain.  I didn't go to my drug store like she recommended....instead I immediately thought of Kourtney Kardashian endorsing the BELLY BANDIT after she had her son!  (it's messed up how obsessed I am with the Kardashians...but it is what it is...I love them!!!)  Anyways, so I ordered one and it arrived today.  I immediately put it on and it HELPED IMMENSELY!!!  Rather than holding my hand over my stomach all day, this did it for me!  I took it off to change the gauze over my incision, and I can't tell you how bad my stomach hurt.  I changed my bandage and put it right back on.  It gives me the support I need.  I was able to clean my apartment (very lightly & gently)!!!! 

Between the lessening of the pain, the weight loss and my Belly Bandit...this has been the best day since surgery!!!  I'm so happy I'm over the hump and can stop complaining and get on with this journey!  Thank you all for your nice comments that help me get through this last week! 

1 week anniversary!

Well, it's been one week, and things aren't too much better.  I'm still in quite a bit of pain in my stomach area.  I feel lucky that I didn't have terrible gas pains, like some of you had in the beginning.  I have been keeping up with Gas-X...they've been my best friend.  But the pain is definitely still here.  It hurts to get up and down from my chair, in and out of bed, can only sleep on my back (ANY moving kills my stomach), etc.  It's gradually getting better, but at a MUCH slower pace than I had expected. 

I had to take this whole week off, so another week of NO PAY.  Between pain and no $$$, this is becoming frustrating. 

On Sunday night I started freaking out when I got out of my chair...and noticed a huge "wet" ring on my shirt.  Come to find out that my incision was leaking liquid/blood.  That's been fun.  It's been near constant since Sunday night. 

I'm very excited to see my doctor tomorrow to make sure this is all normal. 

Clearly I look like hell.  I know I'm moving at a slower pace then normal and don't look completely put together, but I thought I could make it from my apartment building to the drug store.  This is approximately 20 steps from my building.  I even put my big sunglasses on to hide from people!  Now remember...I live in New York City.  People can be bleeding from the head and strangers look the other way and say nothing.  So I knew things weren't too good when THREE people stopped me to ask if I was ok.  This little walking excursion took about 10 minutes and THREE people stopped me.  I knew to just go back upstairs and recover some more!

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and safe travels!  I'm looking forward to my pureed turkey & mashed potatoes!  And my friend, Melissa, is coming in from Seattle.  Can't wait for a girls weekend, the parade, football, and The Radio City Christmas Spectacular (The Rockettes)!!!!  Hopefully the pain will subside a little to venture to mid-town.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Officially Banded....and in Tons of pain

Hi Everyone,
So I was banded on Tuesday, Nov 16. I stayed in the hospital Tuesday night and came home yesterday.  I have to say, I never anticipated this much pain.  It hurts to do anything.  Moving in and out of bed or my chair, just about knocks me out.  I get very nauseous and light headed.  I'm staying on top of my pain meds, but they don't seem to do much for the pain.  Did anyone else experience this type of pain?  Like your stomach is being ripped to shreds every time you move?  I just spoke to my doctor (through tears...which there have been A LOT of) and he said some people can leave the hospital with NO pain, and some people have pain for a week.  I'm really nervous I'm in the last category. 

I'm sure once the pain is gone, I'll be happy with my decision.  But right now I'm in the mind set of "what the hell did I just do to myself???????" 

I've been walking around, using a heating pad, my breathing apparatus they gave me, my paid meds...everything they told me to do.  But if anyone has any other suggestions to get through this stage of horrible pain, please let me know.    Thanks!

My LAST night unbanded!!!

I'm sitting here with my mom, who flew in from South Dakota to be with me through my surgery.  I've been pretty nervous all day.  I'm a nanny for 3 amazing girls (ages 2, 4 & 6)....I stayed away from the 2 year old all day today as she had a fever.  Luckily there is another nanny who was able to have her for the day.  I have come this far and couldn't chance getting a fever on my last day!  As I left tonight, the mom & I both cried.  They have been very supportive and understanding through all my doctor's appointments, days off, etc.  I couldn't have asked for a nicer family!

I'm just rambling now....nervous about going to sleep, because when I wake up that's it.  Aaaaaahhhhhhh....  I know it will all be fine.  And down the road I'm sure I will look back at this post & say how ridiculous it was to be nervous.

Ok....this is it.  Can't wait to join you all in BANDLAND tomorrow!!!!