I know the answer is YES...it does get better and easier. I think I'm still maybe in "bandster hell", because even though I've had one fill, and have had the experience of getting stuck, I have NO restriction at all. I can eat as much as I want and basically any food that I want. I just can't take huge bites and I'm good. I need more help than that. A lot more help!
My friend asked me what I was doing last night. I said I was eating something I wasn't suppose to be eating...pizza. I felt so bad and ashamed. He puts so much faith and trust in me and thinking I'm being perfect with my eating. I definitely have NOT been perfect with my food. In the beginning I was doing very well with my food choices, getting protein first, no carbs, etc. I have slowly introduced ice cream and candy back into my life. Not that they were totally gone, but I was doing better with my sweets. I know many people have said this before on their blogs, that if we could do it on our own, with willpower alone, none of us would have had or needed the surgery.
I feel like I'm letting everyone down. That I can't even lose weight, cut down portions, cut out sweets, etc. after I've had the surgery. Most people do not understand the band process, the fills, etc. They just think I'm suppose to be losing weight and losing it rapidly. I know I can't give in and have to remember help is coming....my 2nd fill is coming up (Jan 26). This month has been really hard.
I've been to the gym 4 days/wk for the past 2 weeks. I feel good about that. But then I come home at night and blow it with my food choices. I can't wait for the feeling of restriction. Please, please give me some restriction!!! I don't want to keep having these 'failure' feelings. I know it will happen for me...but this Bandster Hell is, well...H.E.L.L.
Oh honey, hang in there. I had some restriction for about a week after my first fill, and then I was exactly where you are. I didn't lose a single pound between my first and second fill. The second fill was better, for about two weeks, and even then I lost it. I got my third fill two weeks ago (I think) and I am finally seeing all the things people have been talking about! I definitely feel like I have a band now. I LOVE it!. So, hang in there, don't get discouraged. Even if the second fill isn't all you expect it to be, don't get discouraged. It was three for me. And everyone is different!
ReplyDeleteIt will get better! Hang in there! Could you call to see if Fill can be moved up?
ReplyDeleteHang in there, you and I have similar things in common...I was banded on Nov 17th , 2010 and I was filled with 2 cc's from my surgery and that's it! I won't have a fill until May sometime as we are planning a trip back to Puerto Vallarta. The office that I had picked before my surgery went down by fire and apparently they will not open again!
ReplyDeleteIf it helps any, I follow the rules of being banded anyways even though I have NO restriction either...I do not eat any kind of bread or rice...I do have pasta and I don't worry about carbs as I measure and weigh potatoes and such! I keep track of calories and at night I have a FF SF popsicle or freezee's!
I do hope you don't beat yourself up over this as we don't have restriction and if it was that easy, we would have done it without the surgery.
Hang in there, your time is coming!
Sandi