When I had my first filled (dec 22), my doctor cleared me to workout, no more restrictions. I knew I wouldn't do anything over Christmas break, but told myself right when I get back I had to hit the gym. No more excuses. I then realized I would be joining every other person with a New Years Resolution to go to the gym and lose weight. I went and it did feel good, but the gym was soooo busy. There were literally no lockers available in the women's locker room and no cardio machines available. It was like the taxi line at the airport. People standing around staring at nothing, waiting for a machine. I wanted to leave. I REALLY wanted to leave. But I said no, stay, and then you can go home and blog that you worked out 2 days in a row! Gotta start somewhere, right?!?!?
Just so I don't get discouraged by huge crowds at the gym, I'm heading to bed now, plan on getting up and leaving by 5:30am to be at the gym when it opens at 6am. That will give me enough time for a good cardio, shower, and then my work is literally steps from the gym. I'm not really a morning person, but again, if I blog about it, I don't want to let myself down and have to admit to everyone that I hit snooze instead of hit the gym. So I'm hoping you all hold me accountable! I'm hoping to start out with 4 days in the gym. I don't want to go crazy and get bored like I usually do.
I got stuck on Sunday night. When will I learn? I had made meatloaf for my friend. I had a normal portion and was satisfied. He then left. I then went back to the fridge and thought "just a little bite or two more." I immediately knew I was shoveling it way too fast into my mouth. I didn't want to get "caught" by my roommates. Like they would care. I was eating too fast, not chewing well enough...and then it happened. I was so mad, disgusted, and disappointed with myself. I feel like I keep telling myself "the band isn't working, I only have 1cc in my 10cc band. It can't possibly be working" And while I'm eating normal portion sizes, not band portion sizes, I do know the band is working. Otherwise I would not get stuck and have to PB.
I have to put my faith and trust in the band and remember that this is a slow process. I'm just dying to feel full after a few bites. I want that feeling of knowing my band is tight. I think I'm getting a little impatient. I have to slow down and remember that I am 22 pounds down. It is happening...and will continue to happen. I just need to give it time.
Ok, off to bed! Tomorrow is going to come way too soon!
Good job waiting for a machine to open up! I know what you mean, it's aggravating waiting around, but it's not a waste of time of time b/c you DID IT, so that's great!
ReplyDeletejust fight the crowds for three more weeks, or continue going early, after that people will quit going, but you won't! And go easy on yourself, you will get there. i didn't feel anything until my second fill, and am READY for my third (tomorrow!).
ReplyDeletemake sure you are following me at justawallflower83.blogspot.com (recently changed my blog address!)
keep it up, it'll get easier (not easy, but easier!)