Surgery & Challenge Update

Let me start by saying this has been the most difficult week since being banded on Nov 16, 2010.  Having my band completely unfilled has been the worst thing that could have happened.  I have immediately gone back to all my old eating habits...bingeing, hiding food, eating tons of sweets, breads, etc.  I was good for about 3 days...all of your comments were so nice & helpful (weighing/measuring my food, working out, etc.) but it all went down hill very quickly.  I talked to my therapist on Thursday...when I say talk, I mean cry.  I basically cried & freaked out to her the entire session.  I explained how stressful this has been.  With nothing in my band I have completely gone off the deep end.  When I got to the Hamptons for work, my boss put me right over the edge and the bingeing began.  I feel horrible and knowing that I was going to have to weigh-in for the Challenge on Sunday was really stressful.  My therapist and I agreed that right now is not the time to be weighing in and beating myself up over gaining weight.  I haven't weighed myself this week, but can definitely feel I've gained.  I know that weighing & reporting my weight (gain or loss) can hold me accountable and for some it would help keep them on track.  Not me.  It's making me a disaster.  So I am gracefully pulling myself out of the Back to Basic Challenge.

As I've been eating my way through the week, I've switched around my summer plans.  Rather than wait until Aug 19 to have my port revision surgery, I rescheduled my vacation to see my family.  I couldn't fathom having my band unfilled for well over a month.  So I made sure with my work schedule and my family's schedule that I could get my pre-op doctor appointments, insurance approval, pre-testing, etc in time for me to have the surgery Aug 1.  And then go home the week of August 15.  So far everything has worked out perfectly.  I was cleared by insurance on Wednesday, cleared by my primary doctor on Friday, have an 8am pre-testing appointment this Monday before I go back out to the Hamptons for the week, and then scheduled for surgery Monday, August 1.  I will be off that whole first week of August and can recover.  It also gives me 4 full weeks before I go to Italy.  So in case I have any issues/complications with surgery, I will be in the US!  I know it's suppose to be a 20 minute procedure, local anesthesia, and a 1-2 day recovery time, but with my original Lapband surgery, the 3-4 day recovery time took me a FULL 2 weeks.  So at least I have some buffer time before going back to work!

For anyone who has had port revision surgery, or for people who have had their bands completely unfilled, what is your experience with filling the band back up?  I'm freaking out (on top of everything else...) that they're only going to put like 2-3cc in my band and I'm going to have to start all over and it take MONTHS & MONTHS to get back to my good restriction level.  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE tell me that they're able to put more in the band than the original surgery.  I'm not expecting to go right back to 7.0cc where I had great restriction, but I'm hoping to start around 5 or 6cc.  Am I completely crazy and going to be disappointed?  If you can give me any indication as to what to expect, I would be very appreciative.

Thanks!!!!  And Good Luck to every else who is doing the Challenge....and sticking with it no matter what.  I need to just stop crying and eating and freaking out....then I'll join the next challenge.

Erica

Completely empty band....freaking out!!!

So I was able to get back into NYC and see my doctor today. I was officially down 8.3lbs from last week. They had a very hard time accessing my port again. After much pushing & prodding with fingers & needles, they were able to access my port! Hallelujah !!! Once he was able to get it, he decided last minute to take ALL fluid out of my band. Originally they were going to take out 2.5cc to bring me to 5.0cc for my endoscopy. In order for the camera to fit into my stomach, they thought I needed some fluid out. So I was happy with 5.0cc, because I knew I would be able to eat & drink. So when he all of a sudden said "I'm just taking it all out" quite a few things went thru my head:
1)Yippee!!!
2)Crap...I don't have willpower
3)I can eat & drink anything (started dreaming about chugging gallons of water, but also hamburgers WITH bun, salad, etc)
4)I'm going to wake up tomorrow and gain all 73 pounds back

I'm really struggling with the positives & negatives of this unfill. Because of my traveling work schedule, I could potentially be unfilled for at least a solid month if not much more. I know it's been done before and I'm not going to suddenly be 265lbs again....but man it is really messing with my head. The panic I feel of having to diet & exercise on my own. We all say the band is one tool, but I feel like I rely on mine way too much.

For those of you doing the Back to Basic Challenge, I know this week may be unfair with my 8lb weight loss, but by the end of the challenge it will even out considering I have NOTHING in band from now until....who knows when.

Hope...I would be more than happy to tell you what they're telling me with my pain. For some reason I can't findyour blog. Please email me at Erica.Keenaghan@gmail.com or leave me a comment with your blog name so I can respond to you! Thanks!

What a surprise!

Thank you Drazil for featuring me today on BOOBS!!!

Thank you all for your sweet comments & encouragement!

I've really been struggling this week. I had a fill on Friday and haven't been able to eat much of anything. I can get some liquids down, but it is not nearly enough. Also can't get in for an unfill because I'm in the Hamptons Monday-Friday for work. Im trying to get home early tomorrow and have some taken out. I have lost over 8lbs in the last 6 days. Yes I love the weight loss, but I know this is not healthy. I have no energy and when I do workout I feel sick & nauseous for about and hour or 2 after my workout. I need to have some taken out as soon as possible.

I think I'm going to have the revisional port surgery. My port is very mobile and pointing towards my feet at a very severe angle. They keep reassuring me it's a quick procedure (20 min) and I'm only under local anesthesia. My concern is I'm not suppose to lift after the surgery....and I'm suppose to go to Italy the following week. Do I post-pone the surgery or go & hope the Italian men like an American girl & help me with my bags!?!?

The pain on my lower left side is still being diagnosed. My urgent care doctor is waiting to talk to my lap band doctor. They think there is a lot of scar tissue near my band and all through my abdomen causing this pain!?!?!?! They want more tests & an endoscopy to see what's going on and make sure everything is ok with my band. So I may push port surgery off in case they need to do any other surgery and get it all taken care of in one surgery vs two. That way I would have no issues going to Italy, too!!!

We'll see what they say. I just hope they get it figured out sooner rather than later. As of today I'm down to 192 for a total of 73 pounds!!!! So happy!!!!

Take care and again thanks for the shout out on BOOBS!!! Can't wait to see you all in Chicago!

Erica

Early 8 month pictures!

Since I'm getting ready to be in the Hamptons the rest of the summer, I figured I would take my 8 month pictures a little early and post them while I'm home.  I also took some extra pictures that were NOT these lovely black shorts & tank top!  I'm sure you're all as sick of it as I am!  I'm slowly trying to get out of my all black wardrobe and wearing a little color!  I take pictures of the kids all the time, but always make sure I'm not in them.  So you'll have to suffer with me posing in my bedroom!

 These are my size 24 "fat pants"!  They are the biggest pants I had and the only pair I have kept.  Everything else has been purged.  I put these on a few weeks ago in one of my cleaning binges and couldn't believe how big they were!  I've tried them on for a few friends and family members and none of them could hide their shock!  What a great feeling! They felt bad when their jaw hit the floor, but I loved the reactions! I can almost get both legs in one pant leg!  Give me another couple months!

So, from size 24....to my first size 14 in as long as I can remember!  I went this week with my sister trying to find a good pair of white pants for the summer.  I kept ordering online, but always getting size 16 & 18.  None of them were fitting.  I went to the store and thought, "what the heck, let me just TRY a 14."  Almost passed out when the first of all, went over my hips, and then secondly, when they zipped and they weren't too tight!



My favorite SKINNY jeans!  I was always against skinny jeans....and now these are the only jeans I wear!   Go figure!  They are the Rock Star Jeggings from Old Navy.  I absolutely love them.  And they're so cheap I don't care that I may only wear them a few weeks/months before I get rid of them.  At one point they were on sale for like $20 (reg $40) so I bought blue & black in the next 2 sizes down!!!  I have gotten many compliments on them.  Was VERY hesitant at first, but I said what the heck!

I'll be reading everyone's blogs in the Hamptons, but probably not a lot of time to respond.  But definitely reading!!!

Erica

My First Challenge!!!

I have yet to hit Onederland...cue tears.  It's no one's fault but my own.  I am nervous to do this challenge, but also excited.  I'm hoping this is what it takes to push me over the edge to see 199.  I saw 200.5lbs this week....but 201.9 today.  I'm starting my challenge with 201.9 and can't wait to see the scale move down!

This week was so tough.  I've been having this horrible pain in my lower left stomach.  I was at 3 doctors this week, and no one seems to know what it is or could possibly be.  This is so frustrating.  One doctor sent me for an ultrasound.  Another said, you should go see your primary dr.  And the 3rd sent me home with an prescription for a CT scan.  I've been doubled over in pain and tears.  Hopefully I'll figure it out this week.  What a way to spend my week off....going doctor to doctor!

Technology has not been my friend lately.  I dropped my phone in the water while getting a pedicure.  I say it was karma cuz I was getting a pedicure while working (to clarify...I'm a nanny.  We drop the girls off at school and both nannies have 2 hours to do what we please until pick-up.  But I always feel guilty....and now karma got me!)  So my phone was a complete loss.  Got a "new" refurbished phone through insurance that ALSO didn't work.  SOOOOO frustrating.  I'm now waiting on my NEW, NEW phone.  I complained until they said they would send me a NEW phone vs a crappy refurbished phone.  My computer keeps freezing on me since my virus, I usually can't reply on people's blogs, and when I can it comes up with no picture and says Anonymous.  I'm ready to throw my blackberry, computer, ipad, ipod and anything else that can freeze and cause me frustration out my 28th floor window!

Back to weight loss.  My doctor cancelled on me for my appt on Friday, but was able to get into someone else in the practice.  Unfortunately, due to my very tilted port, she was not able to access it for a fill.  I once again felt like a pin cushion.  She tried about 5 times.  Brought in a Nurse Practitioner and he also couldn't get it.  They are now making me go for ANOTHER x-ray to see if my port has turned/flipped even more.  My regular doctor gets it on the first try every time, but no one else can seem to get it.  And he's out again this week...and then I'm in the Hamptons for work the rest of the summer.  So I'm getting an x-ray on Tuesday and then seeing a different NP and will hopefully get a fill on Friday.

I was down 7 lbs from my visit a month ago.  I know I have been pretty loose and was definitely excited for a fill.  Fingers crossed for Friday!  My food choices have been less than ideal.  I'm eating way too much junk food again.  The working out on my own (froze gym membership for the summer since I'll be in the Hamptons & done with the trainer) has not gone as planned.  I ran 2 days this week, but that's all.  I was feeling guilty about it....but at the same time this pain in my stomach has been so bad.  I don't want to use it as an excuse, and I did run through the pain those 2 days I did run, but at the same time when I'm doubled over in pain and crying every day due to the pain....working out was the last thing I want to do. 

This Challenge has come at the perfect time!  No more excuses, no more junk food (ok, lets be realistic....cut down drastically on the junk food) and just follow the band rules and I'll be doing well.  Good Luck to everyone in the Challenge.  Can't wait to hear the result in Chicago!

Erica