I can't believe it's been a month since I've posted. I've been trying to keep up with everyone's blogs, but life sometimes gets in the way.
Not a whole lot has been going on. That's probably why I haven't wanted to post anything. It's been pretty slow. I was very frustrated for a while. I have been religiously in the gym 5 days a week. I've been working out with my trainer 2 or 3 times a week. He point blank told me "I'm not happy with your weight loss." That was such a blow to the self-esteem. I'm hard enough on myself...I don't need other people saying they're not happy with my weight loss. He doesn't understand the band at all. Which is also frustrating. He's telling me I need to eat all this food to keep my metabolism up, but I've been trying to restrict myself. I've read on the blogs that people try to eat about 1000 calories a day with the band. My band is definitely not at it's "sweet spot" yet and I could eat more like 2000 calories if I allowed myself. I know my eating hasn't been great lately, but not horrible. After my trainer made the weight loss comment, he told me that 70% is what you eat and only 30% working out. He has since told me that 2 more times. I finally got the hint and I knew it was me and my eating. I started writing down everything I eat and try to stay at 1000 calories a day. I'm down 4 pounds this week. But I'm not suppose to be starving myself am I? I wish my band would be helping me feel full, so I don't want to eat more and I"m satisfied. But I feel like I"m on a diet and can only eat 1000 calories. Yes, the scale is moving, which I'm happy about. On the other hand though, IF I could force myself to only eat 1000 calories and write everything down and never fall off the wagon, then I wouldn't have needed or wanted the band. So I'm back to this place of limbo....what do I do? Do I just give it time and wait for my fills to tell me when I'm full and not be so crazy with counting calories and restricting myself. OR do I starve and write everything down and count my calories?
I'm down to 224.8 as of this morning! I am very happy to be in the 220's. The scale wasn't budging for a while, but I could definitely feel & see changes in my body. I stopped looking at the scale, cuz I was going crazy. But I like what my trainer is doing to me. He is pushing me and helping me do things that I NEVER thought I could do. I tried my first spin class this week! I was very nervous and intimidated. Everyone told me I'd be fine, but of course I didn't believe them. It went well. When the instructor said to be UP, I was up! I was so nervous I wouldn't be able to keep up with them, but I did it!!! I don't know if I'm hooked, but maybe soon!
I went to the Bahamas last week for work (I'm a nanny!). It was so nice to be away from cold, rainy New York City for a while. It was also nice that I was in some clothes that I definitely was not in last summer! I got all my summer clothes out and was pretty happy with how things fit. There were some things that I thought would fit that didn't. That was a little upsetting, but there were also things I didn't think would fit that did! So all in all, some good NSV's. The plane seat was roomier! I worked out EVERY morning we were there! Which I have NEVER done on vacation before. Because after all, it was vacation. But I know me and I didn't want any excuse to fall off the working-out wagon. So I was at the gym every morning at 6am and did my workout.
I am going home (to North Dakota) over Memorial Day weekend. My goal is to be at 200 pounds. I have almost 2 months. I may not quite make it, but it's a goal I'm shooting for. I haven't really set any mini-goals, so I guess this is my first one! Let's hope I can do it. NO, I KNOW I CAN DO IT!!!!
I'm planning on taking pictures and measurements this weekend. I need a photo update. I'll post some of the Bahamas now! I'm realizing I have a ton of the 3 girls, but not many of me. And the ones I do have, don't really show off any changes or weight loss. Oh well....
Hope you are all doing well. I finally have nothing really to do this weekend and I'm going to do my best to catch up on everyone's blogs! Happy losing!!!!
Erica
Umm, it sounds like you might need a new trainer. Their job is to encourage you, not belittle you. My opinion anyway...I could not work with someone who made me feel bad about myself, and didn't take the time to educate themselves on my particular situation. I need support and someone to challenge me, but there's a good way to go about that!
ReplyDeleteSounds like the trip to the Bahamas was fun!!! Glad you had some good NSVs :)